Another [Unfortunate] Genitalia Post.

14 08 2007

Oh my god – what have I done?!

Ted and I went out for an innocent walk this evening and, just as we got down to one of the cute little parks near our house, I heard someone screaming “Teddy! Teddy!” from about 1 block behind us. Turns out it was a rather overzealous neighbor yelling Ted’s name at the top of her lungs with the hope that we’d turn around and go hang out with she and her dog in her yard. Sounds cute, right? It would be except that I really don’t know this woman. She’s really nice, though – she’s a flight attendant – and her cool dog’s name is Bear. When we pass each other on he street, she likes to point out that, together, our dogs make “Teddy Bear.”

Whatever – the point of this back story is that Nice Flight Attendant Lady gave Ted lots of treats and yummy things to eat – so nice of her. Then she brings out this long beef-jerky-looking thing called a bully stick, which she says is Bear’s favorite thing ever, and tosses it to Ted, letting me know that it’s all beef, digestible, blah blah blah, etc. As Ted begins to chew the heck out of it, she laughs and says, “Can you believe our guys love bull penises so much?!” Gulp. “What?” I ask. “Stores actually package and sell bull penises?” Gulp again. To make a long-ish story short, my sweet puppy ate a penis today. And he loved it so much that he smiled for about an hour after he polished it off.

All I can say is: Teddy, if you ever learn English and read this, I am so sorry. You are a good good boy and you trust me to pick your food out for you. You did not deserve to eat a bull peep without being consulted first. In other words, sorry, dude. Sucks to be you. In the future, I’ll try my best to keep strangers from inviting you in and giving you anatomical treats without my permission.

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One response

15 08 2007
judith

Lyle loooooooves the bully sticks. The part that freaked me out most was seeing the TWENTY-FOUR INCH LONG ones at the pet store.

When Lyle was in surgery, the vet tech was telling me all the weird things they’ve removed from dog stomachs and she said they pulled a 12″ bully stick from a Malamute.

I’m just glad I have you to share my disgust with.

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