Waking Up.

5 08 2007

By – but usually at – 10 a.m. on weekends, Jack & Ted can no longer contain themselves.

When Adam and I feel ourselves waking up, our first conscious thought is “Stay very still.” As soon as Ted sees either of us move in a way that leads him to believe we’re not sleeping, that’s it. He immediately stands up, wags his whole body furiously, and begins to make a noise that I can only describe as one made by a half-walrus-half-wookie. What’s kind of cool is that you’d think we’d be pissed, but usually we just chuckle at him – it’s pretty cute. His pièce de résistance is the chin on the bed, which kills me every time. As you know, he’s a tall guy, so his head is right at mattress level – which means all he has to do is stand close to the bed and his chin automatically rests there, just looking at us. Sometimes, you can hug his head and tell him to go lay down and he will…then there are mornings like this one where Jack joins the party.

Jack Bauer, as you may or may not know, has a few neuroses. He has to “cover” anything he thinks smells funny, for one, which means that he scrapes at the ground to try to bury everything from his food, to Ted’s food, to the place where a piece of ice hit the ground last week, to an open container of blueberry yogurt sitting next to me on the desk, to Ted. So, when he’s decided any one of these things needs burying, he’ll scrape at the bare floor, expecting to kick up dirt, we think, but more likely creating a pile of dust particles and dog hair around said items that were hitherto invisible. On fun days, he’ll run upstairs and find a sock – or into the kitchen to find a napkin – with which to cover the offender. This morning, he indulged in his other hobby: slowly and dramatically pushing and/or swatting objects off of high places. It’s gotten to the point where the noise made by the slightest nudge of last night’s water glass toward the edge of the nightstand immediately opens my eyes. Then, just to aid in Teddy’s effort to wake us, he started sliding a coin around on the floor.

At last resort, when they’ve reached their boiling point, Ted loses self-control and heaves his paws up on the bed. Jack jumps up on the bed and walks across my chest and Adam’s ribs. We’re awake.

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