I Salute You, Young Tayler Gold.

30 06 2007

While recaulking our bathtub, I chuckled out loud thinking about a story Penny Gold tells about her son and our friend, Tayler. I did a great job and was completely proud of myself. I only had to call Jim once, and that was just to ask how to get the tube of caulk out of the gun – and that was just because I don’t understand physics. It turns out that, while it looked pretty, I must have used the wrong kind, because now, 2 weeks later, it’s really soft and eroding. Perfect, right? Well that’s nothing compared to Tayler’s first foray into the world of caulk:

Tayler has always been pretty handy. He had a full-on landscaping business up and running at age 15. So if he’s not handy, he’s definitely entrepreneurial. Anyway, Tayler – a way little kid at the time – somehow got his hands on a tube of caulking goop and decided to redo the bathtub. Needless to say, he did the worst job EVER and got the stuff all over the place in a really terrible catastrophic way. When his mom, the hilarious and quick-on-her-feet Penny Gold, saw the mess, she immediately knew that Tayler was the culprit. She called him into the bathroom and asked “Tayler, do you know who made this mess?” – to which Tayler replied, “It wasn’t me!” After a few rounds of this, making no progress, Penny pulled out the big guns: “Well, then someone must have broken into the house and done this! We have to call the FBI!” She ran to the kitchen, grabbed a Ziploc, and began to collect “evidence” from the scene of the crime – with a pair of tweezers, no less. Knowing that he could dupe his mom pretty easily, but that the FBI would certainly bust him, a teary-eyed Tayler caved and confessed to the crime.

I don’t know how or if Tayler was punished. I definitely don’t know whether or not he learned his lesson. I do know one thing, though – and that is that, like Little Tayler probably believed, I thought I did an excellent – no BEAUTIFUL – job caulking our bathtub, only to find out later that I sucked. BUT! I can say with some degree of certainty that my mom will never prosecute me for it.




3 responses

2 07 2007
Tootsie Roll

It was grout, not caulk!

2 07 2007

Whatever – grout, caulk – either way it’s hilarious;)

4 07 2007
Tootsie Roll

I was not punished but my mom did threaten to send me to St. Vincent’s Home For Bad Boys…..(a make believe place they convinced me that bad boys were sent to all during my early childhood)Not sure how I did it, but I was never sent there.

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